Jay of the Dead.

On top of various errands, I was on a mission today to find Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Obviously, not as easy of a task as I had first imagined. So I kept looking. 

And then I started to notice something ... odd.

Everyone had blank looks on their faces. And I mean *everyone*. At first, I passed this off as just a few people having a tough day. But when I saw this all over, I couldnt help but feel like I was in the middle of a Zombie movie. As if overnight, everyone had risen from the graves and joined the undead. And started shopping.

There were no moans or groans. Nobody was holding their arms outstretched. Nobody completely lurched when they walked. I did not even hear one plea for "Brains". So I can only conclude that these particular zombies had acclimated to Seattle quite welll in one day - and become passive-aggressively undead.

Now, as any intellectual, rational being can tell you ... when you suddenly find yourself smack dab in the middle of a Zombie attack, there is only one thing that comes to mind.

"Bullocks!" (*cause said intellect would also think in Britishy sounding slang, given the situation. This is a no brainer.)

Then, one of three things would happen, depending on the person:

1) They would find themselves inextricably craving a pint. (aka acceptance)

2) They would run around screaming like a li'l guhl. (aka non-acceptance + panic)

3) They would break out their preferred weapon and smack the dang zombies in the friggin head (aka non-acceptance + determination)

I chose the third option.  

My weapon of choice, you ask? A screwdriver? No, too pun-laden. A shotgun? No, too video gamey. A shovel? No, too practical. A baseball bat? Nope, been done before.

My weapon was : happiness.

And I swung it with force. Smacking zombies left and right, as I saw them. Bludgeoning them with smiles. Poking them with Jokes. Shooting them with Positive Vibes. Take that, deadguys.

The end result? I managed to make quite a few strangers laugh. I managed to make a bunch smile. I even helped an old lady understand the electronic receipt at the cash register. 

And now people. Now that you are free of your undeadness. That your unlife has been put to rest, and you can get back to whatever it is you were doing before the great Zombie Attack of 07.  Go out and do the same for other zombies.

Lets take Seattle back for the living.